Sunday, September 15, 2013

Looking Back and Looking Forward

It's Sunday kids, no husband.

Brian is at work today (he has gone back to days).  My kids are grown and no longer live at home. My step kids are older now...8th grade, 9th grade, and the oldest is a Freshman at the University of Tennessee.

I don't know why after almost 4 years, I happened upon my blog.  So much has happened in the time I have been away.  Reading some of my old posts has made me yearn for time that has gone. I feel that I am a different person and was reading posts of someone that was not me.

I have been working full time now since November 2009.....almost a full four years.  I have struggled with my weight and my health and am pretty much sick of doctors (but that is another story).

But that is what happens with time, we learn, we grow, we change - sometimes good, sometimes not.  I am still trying to figure out which is true for me.

I think I still love to do the things from four years ago, but am finding it hard to organize my life to fit it all in since I work outside the home full-time.  I think I would love to go part time or quit all together, but that is not an option right now - maybe in five years (at least that is my goal).

I sometimes feel that I have not been a very good wife, although my husband would disagree.  He has been very supportive in any and all of my endeavors.  Sometimes, I feel I am not a good mom.  Even though my kids are grown (25, almost 23, almost 19), you never stop being a mom.  The long distance just makes it a bit harder....and it IS hard letting go.

I am blessed.....there is so much that is RIGHT in my life.  I love my home.  I have good friends. I have a wonderful, loving, caring husband.  I have a job that gives me the ability to pay our bills, help our children and give us that little extra we sometimes need.  

The sun is shinning, the weather is cool and the windows are open.  

All is well.

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